Secrets

Another vignette from my collection–real blogs to return soon 

 

Lying in your bed, staring at your sleeping face, I wonder if I will ever be as important to you as you are to me. It sounds trite to say, I know.

            Tonight I whispered in your ear, I have a secret. You looked up at me curiously, awaiting my confession. I love you. I already knew that, you reply with a half laugh. Suddenly you whisper in my ear that you too have a secret. My breath catches for a moment in my throat and I close my eyes. Our moment has come. I stepped off a ledge a month ago when I first whispered those words. I agonized for three days, crying each night after you fell asleep, determined that you would utter them first this time. I could not contain my words though. I should know myself by now. Self-control is not always a strong point.

            As soon as I’d uttered them, I could tell they were not right. You were not ready to leap with me. Instead you smiled, kissed me on the forehead and thanked me. Thanked me! Amazing.

            Sometimes I catch you though, in a moment, honestly loving me. You stare into my eyes, brush my hair from my face and I feel love surge through my body. I know in those instances what you cannot bring yourself to say: You love me. Why you are so afraid, I’m not sure. I get the feeling you’ve never said those words before. Yet here we are, me looking adoringly up at you. You, tucking a small strand of hair behind my ear and whispering, I know a secret.

            I brace myself, ready for the words. Ready to grab your face and smother it with kisses. Your lips part and you whisper, You’re silly.

            I pull back and half smile, half laugh. Yes, I guess I am.

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Filed under love, my stories, ramblings, what makes me me

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