One of the local radio stations is doing a “Pick Your Pump” contest. Usually I pay little attention to any sort of radio contest. It’s not like I’m going to call in because if my high school years have taught me anything, it’s that I can’t dial fast enough to get into a radio station, no matter how much I want those New Kids on the Block tickets, so what’s the point in getting my hopes up only to hear the busy signal defeat me once again?
The particular contest they’ve been running the last two weeks is different than many of their others. It doesn’t require “winners” to sing on air*. There are no trivia questions so brain numbling easy that anyone with a pulse should be able to answer yet the callers never seem to have a clue about. Women don’t have to call up their significant others and try to get them to agree to come home for a mid-morning quicky. No one gets a cold water wake up for the audience’s amusement. All callers have to do is listen for a special song** and then be the 19th caller. It hardly seems like a real radio contest. There’s not a single wacky thing to it.
Well, except for the premise. It’s called “Pick Your Pump” because once that lucky soul actually gets through the tangled phone lines, s/he had to decide whether to take a pair of designer high heels or the cash equivalent at the gas pump. For me this is an absolute no brainer as I care nothing for shoes. As long as I have something covering my feet, I’m not really all that concerned with what that covering looks like. If it matches, hey, great. If not, what the hell does it matter? They are shoes. As a woman I know this is not a popular viewpoint. After all, I’m supposed to have stockpiles in my closet totaling more than the gross national product of some third world countries. Try as I might though, I just can’t care. I rarely spend more than $25 on a pair of shoes. It just seems so wasteful to me.
I also wear shoes into the absolute ground. I just threw away a favorite pair of tennis shoes a few weeks ago. I’d had them for close to five years and I loved them. I got them during a buy one get one free sale at the mall. They only ended up costing me $5, but they were super trendy looking and went with everything. Even when the soles were coming unglued and all the threads were fraying, I strutted around in them. Finally my socks started getting a little too wet, so I gave up the ghost and pitched them. I have a pair of sandals I bought two years ago that I fear are about to meet the same fate. I have worn them nearly every day since I bought them, including several days during winter where my toes actually turned slightly blue due to exposure.
This contest is not meant for me.
Each day the pair of shoes offered to the lucky called change. Last week there was some pair of super fancy shoes up for grabs. Apparently it was the same brand (maybe even the same kind) worn by one of the stars of Sex in the City. I’ve never watched the show, but I heard it mentioned by the DJ. The shoes were valued at $1000 and much to my absolute amazement, the girl on the phone squealed with delight as she choice the pumps. I simply cannot fathom giving up $1000 in free gas. With gas prices getting dangerously close to $3.00 a gallon and my daily commute requiring me to spend $40-60 a week on gas, I can’t imagine wanting shoes. That gas would have lasted me for four months. Wow.
I just want to know where in the heck she’s going to wear those shoes. To justify giving up $1000 in free gas, I think I’d have to wear them to work, to run errands, to yoga and probably even to bed. At least for the first four months or so.