One of my secret santa gifts this year was a Word a Day calendar. Being an English teacher and a lover of all things word related, I was thrilled with it. Each day I look forward to tearing off a new sheet to see what new and interesting word I will learn. Today’s featured word was timocracy. Thanks to my calendar, I do know the real definition of the word, however, as soon as I saw it, all I could do was envision my dear friend Tim as the ruler of his own little country. Sort of like Petoria on Family Guy.
So instead of grading papers or sending the much needed “your child is failing” email, I decided to email my dear friend Tim about my vision of life in the Timocracy. It goes a little something like this:*
“My Word a Day calendar features timocracy today. While I know this is not the definition of the word, I can’t help but imagine you as ruler of your own little country. As if DC has been split apart even farther and you reign supreme. I envision you with a little sceptor and sitting on a golden throne which has been cushioned with purple velvet. Since it’s a Timocracy, I assume the court will be filled with a mixture of beautiful scantily clad women as well as several famous basketball players, all just waiting for a chance to go one on one with you. There will be lots of pizza and Twinkies to eat and one entire wall of the thrown room is the biggest big screen TV ever, complete with PS3 and every Grand Theft Auto and basketball game ever made for when you get bored with the ladies and sweating.”
He was a little worried that the super amazing professional athletes might be too good for him. To which I replied:
“Well, you do rule the Timocracy. They aren’t dumb. They know where their bread is buttered. Because, of course, it is a Timocracy after all and you do have the power to say “off with their heads.” And since you are The Tim, you could decide what exactly that meant. Plus, you’d have super special ankle braces made so you did not risk the gingerbread effect being a factor.”
*I realize this is only potentially amusing to those who know Tim, but, well, it’s my blog and it’s what I wanted to write about today.