A big let down for the big V

Well, it happened again. There was no heart shaped box of chocolates waiting to be unwrapped, its contents to be scrutinized, arranged in order from the one I’ll like most (saved for last) to the one I’ll like least (eaten first). Despite numerous hints including the Godiva catalog left open on the page with Valentine’s boxes right next to the computer my husband sits at every night while searching the web for I’m afraid to ask what, the counter held a vase of the traditional roses and a little tiny bag that I knew could not be hidding the coveted box of chocolatey heaven.

I’m not really sure how much clearer I could have gotten. For the last six years I have actually told him multiple times before Feb. 14th arrived that all I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is a heart shaped box of chocolates. I am not really a picky woman. I don’t want him to worry about finding some obscure gift no other woman will have. I don’t need a fancy dinner out or even a gourmet one in. I don’t need the dozen long stem roses whose prices have been hiked up in an attempt to make gas prices look cheap. I certainly don’t need jewelry of any kind, even if it is heart shaped and “I’m sure to love it.” No, I’m easy to please. If it’s heart shaped and full of chocolate*, I’m happy.

This year I really thought my husband was going to get it right. I thought that after six years of the hints getting less and less vague and me actually getting closer to just taking his credit card and going to the store myself, I would finally get my red velvety box. Once again though, I felt like a child after every present had been opened on Christmas day, realizing that the only thing I actually wanted, the one I’d circled in the catalog, begged for all year and even cleaned my room and not tormented my sister for, was not anywhere under the tree.

Oddly, my husband is not the only one who cannot take my less than subtle hints to heart. No one I have ever dated/been married to on Valentine’s day has ever listened to me and just gotten me the box of chocolates. My husband’s logic is that he feels chocolates are too mundane. They are what everyone gets. My pointing out that every year he’s gotten me roses, which I think proved my point, didn’t make him very happy. Then I felt bad because he thought I didn’t like my gifts.

The truth is, the roses he got me were beautiful. They are white with pink tips (my favorite type of roses–we used to have them in my garden growing up). It’s sweet that he listened and knew what to get. He also did get me something chocolate: chocolate covered bing cherries from Trader Joe’s. Also a nice gift as I do like their taste, even if they don’t have the allure of the assorted box where I’m never quite sure if I’ll get nouget, or raspberry filling or maple whip. He even threw in a gift car to my favorite coffee shop which I know will be used before the end of the weekend. All of which are nice, thoughtful gifts.

Still, they made me feel sad. They made me realize that once again, someone I love didn’t listen to me. Year after year I make the same plee and year after year I am denied. And yet I keep hoping that next year will be the year I come home and find my husband standing in the living room, his hand behind his back, trying to conceal that magical heart shaped box that I know holds the key to my happiness…at least for the next few weeks while I savour one piece each night.

So once again, I was without my beloved chocolates. Once again I had to go to Godiva the day after to buy my own box on clearance. Although it wasn’t the surprise I was looking for, I did get twice as much by waiting one day. Then again, I had to buy them myself.

Maybe next year.

*This is only partially true. I don’t actually want one of those cheap boxes of Hershey’s Pot of Gold or Whitman’s sampler deals. He did get me one of those last year. The one thing I’m a bit snobby about is my chocolate. I’ll still eat those and think they are ok, but my philosophy is that life is too short to eat mediocre chocolate–at least for a special ocassion.



Filed under bad days, food, love, married life, nostalgia, pet peeves, products, ramblings, what makes me me

5 responses to “A big let down for the big V

  1. tim

    Next year I’m sending you a heart fashioned out of meat, but with expensive chocolates on the inside. Since you didn’t rule it out.

  2. beetqueen

    Is this supposed to make the chocolates less appealing to me? I can always rinse them off. Big meat heart, yeah, I’m fine with it. As long as it’s a heart shaped meat box full of fancy chocolates.

  3. Frank

    So let me get this straight, the one year he got you chocolate you did not think it was good enough, and now you “feel sad” that your husband went out of his way to get you flowers and some chocolate covered cherries?
    So what did you get him? Didly, would be my guess.
    Wow you are a spoiled brat. Stubling across this blog is great, you put down your in-laws, you complain most of the time, there are people with cancer, and other problems, I would guess they are just people who get in your way.

  4. beetqueen

    So although I know I probably should have just deleted your comment, realizing that having read only a couple of my blog entries, you have no idea who I am as a person. In fact, there is a good chance you are either trolling for a fight, extremely judgemental and unable to see a body of work as a whole instead of as individual parts, or pissed off at women in general and since you know a couple, you think you know me.

    Now, I have many a personality flaw (my need to respond addresses one of them…I can’t let things go, especially when I feel people are being hateful for no real reason). I am stubborn, opinionated, proud, tell rambling stories that seem to go nowhere, and when I think I’m right, have an obsessive need to prove it. All of these are true and all are flaws I’m working on. I am not, however a spoiled brat or selfish and the idea of anyone, even someone who has never met me and has proven himself kind of a jerk for being so nasty without any provocation, thinking I am, bothers me.

    I did, in fact, get my husband a series of gifts for Valentine’s day. I started his day with a love note on our bathroom counter. Then, when he went to get his morning coffee, he found a brand new bag of freshly ground chocolate rasperry coffee from our favorite coffeehouse sitting next to the pot with a note asking him to be my Valentine. When he went to get in his car to go to work, he found a container of his favorite chocolate covered fruits on his seat. I packed him a lunch full of some of his favorites and included a chocolate peanut butter truffle, simply because that’s his favorite candy combination. When he got home from work, I gave him the rest of his gift: a HUGE bag of pistachios (his favorite snack treat), a bag of chocolate carmel squares, and probably the most silly and sentimental of all, a package of nobbly, oaty biscuits. I don’t know their actual name, but they are part of this silly joke we have because when I went on a school trip to visit London, they were one of the dozen or so special treats I brought him back (and they taste amazing). I also put aside the special dinner I was going to make him because he really wanted Mexican. Even though we’d had it for the last two weeks, I said, what the heck, it’s Valentine’s day, let’s get what you want.

    As for my in-laws, sure, we have our conflicts and I give them a hard time. Guess what, so do over half of all married people. Very few people have great relationships with their in-laws. It’s that whole, they aren’t your parents, but still treat you like a child thing. Not to mention that since they are much older and have completely forgotten what it is like to be the parents of a small child, they are often thoughtless about what we need. I’m not sure why this little attack about my treatment of them bothers me, except that while I do criticize them, I am also one of the first to acknolwedge (both in real life and in this blog) that they are also really decent people who just happen to get on my nerves from time to time.

    As for the whole “there are people with cancer and other problems” thing, yeah, I know. My dad happens to be one of them. And I’ve written about how devastating that is to my family. However, I don’t remember any blog requirements to save the world from cancer or to spend every blog contemplating all the seriously wrong things in this world or the people who have it worse than me.

    The great thing about the blogosphere is that it is a place for people, no matter how ignorant or how big of an asshole they may be, to have a place to express themselves (and lucky for you). This is my space. I write about the things I know. I write about the things I experience. I don’t have experience with starving orphans in third world nations. I don’t have experience with people dying of HIV. I don’t have experience with being wrongfully imprisoned for speaking out against the government. Just because there are “bigger issues” and more serious topics than rude drivers doesn’t mean rude drivers aren’t still a problem. It also doesn’t mean I kick puppies and spit on the homeless. Or that people who have serious problems in life get in my way.

    Instead of ignorantly passing judgement on people whose lives you have no idea about (because some of us do write about these “trivial” things because they help us deal with the much bigger, often crippling issues with our lives we don’t feel like sharing with the world at large) and writing hateful messages whose only intention is to wound and cause someone you don’t know more pain (maliciousness is far worse than being spoiled), skip my blog and read something you find value in.

  5. Pingback: Comment on a comment « beetqueen

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