Ok, I know I’m not “with it.” I have no illusions that I am in any way cool. And I know this post is going to make me sound like an old woman sitting on her front porch in her rocker screaming, “Darn kids, get off my lawn. And get a haircut ya darn hippy.” Still, I feel the need to express my absolute perpelxion with an on going male fashion trend. I’m talking, of course, about the baggy pants.
Today while driving home, I noticed a couple who looked to be in their mid 20’s walking down the sidewalk. The girl was dressed in a completely non-descript manner. I think it might have been capris and a short sleeve shirt. It was so run of the mill though, I couldn’t tell you for sure. The guy she was with, however, stuck out. He was shirtless and unlike a great many guys in this city who like to go around shirtless during the summer (including my dear friend Eee’s old neighbor across the street–shudder), he could pull it off. This was not, however, what drew my attention. What caught my eye is that I could see every single inch of his red plaid boxer shorts. His pants were hanging so low that I could actually just make out the start of his skin where the legs of the boxers stopped.
As I pulled up closer behind him, I was amazed by this. Here we were, during a really busy time of day, in the middle of a major metropolitan city and he was walking around in his underwear. As I passed him, I noticed something even more peculiar…his pants were completely pulled up in the front. In fact, he was holding them up in the front so only the tiniest bit of his boxers were visable. I realized this was not some hapless man who just forgot his belt. Nor was he some poor soul who’d lost a lot of weight so his pants didn’t fit. These were new, designer jeans. I could tell because they had funky designs all over the front. Oh, and he was holding his pants up with his left hand which was placed directly on his crotch. His right hand was swaying by his side.
I realize this is not a new fashion statement. We even have a dress code rule about it in our student handbook. On an average day, I have to tell at least three boys to pull their pants up. Thankfully none of my kids are quite as audacious as the guy I saw walking down the street, but I think that’s only because they know they’d get into real trouble.
The thing that just freaks me out about this trend is that with their pants so low, they don’t so much walk as waddle. Some of my boys wear oversized shirts that hang down to their knees for the sole purpose of wearing their pants (with belts) just above their knees. The crotch sags to their calves and they look like penguins when they walk.
I was talking about this one day in my journalism class and to my surprise, all of my kids (there were only 10 and all but two were girls), were also annoyed by it. One of my students, in her general outspoken manner was particularly appaled, because as she informed me, the whole trend started in prisons as a sign for guys who, “want to get done in their boodies.” She had no tolerance for it and made fun of her peers because most of them had no idea the origins of their favorite trend and those who did were too stupid to realize, well, just how stupid they looked.
I know, I know, I’m an old fuddy-duddy, but I hope this trend goes away soon. I don’t know how any self-respecting female can actually find the sight of a guy waddling over to pick her up impressive, let alone sexy.