gems of human speech

Ok, so this is the best line I’ve read so far in a research paper:

subject: why tanning is a problem in society today

actual student sentences: 

“It is worse than drinking alcohol. This can kill a person for life.”

I just really, really, really want to know what doesn’t kill a person for life, because that’s what I want to die from. Something that only leaves me temporarily dead. Maybe like that potion from Romeo and Juliet. Or whatever the people on the island in Lost are getting. Those would work fine.

It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

Cordelia (said to Giles after he’d been knocked out once again): “One of these days you’re going to wake up in a coma.”

Giles (amazing) response: “Wake up in a coma?”

It also reminds me of a radio commercial I heard for an “investigative report” into a gruesome murder that happened many years ago in the city. I didn’t actually watch the investigation as the radio ad alone made me want to hit someone. The woman quoted was somehow related to the victim. The radio ad was playing up the idea that the victim had a premonition of her death. To add credence to this theory was her family member who claimed the victim had told her, “one of these days I’m going to wake up dead in this house.”

I can only assume the woman knew she was going to be a ghost.

Man, I love people some days!

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2 Comments

Filed under entertainment, Joss Whedon, life as a teacher, problems with society, ramblings, TV, what makes me me

2 responses to “gems of human speech

  1. missanthropy

    One of Charlie’s favorite things to say (and I have no idea where this comes from) is “I could be killed. Or even worse.”
    After taking a logic course in college, I’m convinced it should be taught throughout grade school and high school. People just aren’t encouraged to think things through.

  2. michelleleigh

    Oh my goodness! I am a middle school teacher and this sounds exactly like some of the stuff I get from my students! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning.

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